


Suspension

by illegible



Category: Ergo Proxy (Anime)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2017-12-14 09:44:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illegible/pseuds/illegible
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They come together in the places between.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He doesn't remember leaving, arms full of empty books about him about this world about the way things are and have been and might be someday. His legs carried him through fog onto the ship between white narrow walls and the un-stories fell dumped poured out like a flood he could not bring himself to contain. Kneeling, he shut the covers out of something like respect but left them lying there wordless. Without words leaves Vincent Law.

On the ground smoke smog the very same fog repeats its cycle. He lies flat, his back over dust and dirt he will always be dirty less than more than other than himself or anyone. Who he is he he does not know ergo he is Ergo Proxy, a name he has yet to fully grasp. Thinking is not being he does not think he knows with certainty…nothing. Something. All in a matter of self-perception, the impossibility of which has been explained over and over he does not understand or want to.

Vincent Proxy tortures himself with his own mind or something deep inside his mind tortures him and does the difference really matter?

He is a proxy.

His eyes burn blur slide down his face he is so sick and tired of this but that really doesn't matter right now does it _(does it)?_

He is a proxy.

Proxies are magicians like Hoody clever Hoody dead Hoody braver-than-you Hoody said. They can do awful, extraordinary things Vincent does not want to be. Does he even want citizenship anymore? Why does he even want?

He remembers Re-L.

And she is there.


	2. Chapter 2

It is getting dark the wind courses through him she watches overhead and he knows he will not escape the speech escaped in halting confessions she does not cannot believe he remembers. She was alone in the darkness of the room her eyes wide almost undressed mouth trembling about to scream he knew knows pressed his thumb tried to smooth ugly and coarse Re-L cried he wept for her how dare, how dare you Vincent Ergo Proxy you are.

There is something very wrong with him. She knows this now.

He wishes the problem was in his mind only and maybe there is something to that but oh Re-L I am not like you not even a person you are the person I wish I could make you happy I wish.

She watches him, and he thinks he is beneath her hate.

***

Across the fire Vincent Law tries to explain without sounding like he knows he sounds like a lunatic liar fool murderer himself. These are things he can only apologize for acknowledge for what he is who he is he owes her more than that much.

Re-L only arches an eyebrow in response, appears or shows herself unafraid as she looks him in the eye and calls him crazy.

Vincent smiles.

***

She comes to him tells him they are connected she thinks she

she thinks of him he cannot think

his hand is on her wrist she is Re-L under him he can't can't can't Re-L I love you I love I

they are shaking he shakes she looks into his face he should not be here he cannot move there is something terrifying in this moment she cries in the darkness of her room he weeps for her oh Re-L I

why why why does he

she looks at him and tells him he can become a citizen she leans into the wall and he sees her mouth tilt a smile for him they do not smile inspectors do not immigrants cannot she slaps him asks him demands him sees him fall from the dome calls his name he falls she follows wants to protect snaps orders dismisses does not tolerate uncertainty she is certain she does not waver he wavers now she falls she hurts he thinks she dies she does not she remembers she remembers…

There is a gun. Re-L has a gun and she is terrified. This is not her room and he is Vincent Law.

Re-L surges into him their lips are connected she is hard ungentle their teeth bump he cannot move the breath stays in his chest Re-L, Re-L is kissing him she tastes like his tea she melts he breathes his eyes are closed she is gone and neither of them is afraid.


	3. Chapter 3

Her lips tingle in the aftermath she is numb her chest tight and slowly loosening she should be sick it is not how she feels she wipes away the sensation walks outside watches the rise and fall of his shoulders as he distracts himself in pursuit of a phantom she knows.

They touched briefly to bring them together listen to the idiot who didn't even realize his legs lay to the side his arms splayed trembling spineless desperate attempt to make her understand like a dog he begged in failing language stuttered self-deprecating nonsense like a child he has no conception of what he speaks.

She mastered him saw a man who sought his own worth for the dome Romdeau could hardly accept his mind she saw a citizen flawless dull he is not proxy liar coward honest man unable to leave communes carrying her upon collapse whispered promises you will be safe Re-L oh protector in my pocket he is

such an idiot.

It took very little to cut the threads inside him he fell apart so she could hold him in her teeth if she chose he can be broken before her she sees no challenge the tongue he must obey a so-called love of strangers and fools.

She knows this now.

In the claustrophobia of a borrowed ship Iggy tells her she cannot stay and Re-L Mayer obeys no one.

***

He becomes something sub-other-than human, mouth unhinged serpentine primal roar into the shadows of another proxy Vincent ergo Law before her in his own shadows mask tendrils like smoke overhead his eyes filmed over thumb pressed into her mouth she sees and is transported her face is wet she wipes it away.

He sees her and sees a second third proxy he leaves protector in my pocket is he?

***

He is Vincent Law and she cannot shoot.

Re-L tells herself it is curiosity.


	4. Chapter 4

Trapped halfway down the throat of a cave he knows she strangles in the proximity he can see her hear her useless machines and proxies alike the ignorant unable to be what she needs for this moment he does not look up and

the comb is in his hands.

She sees him under lashes clumped with mascara _just do it_ his hands do not belong to him he is only Vincent who spills his cereal whose room reflects careful symmetries who belongs to nowhere and who will never ever be good enough.

He is only Vincent.

Moving stopping beginning again he thinks he should say something it stays frozen on his tongue the air is cold and she appeared but Re-L is stronger more furious than he can grasp her hair the ink he wants to stain his fingers with knots undo themselves as teeth drag in his grip she does not complain or move.

Re-L is not fragile. Just the same he maneuvers carefully, gently, committing to unfamiliar motions as light flickers across her back. When his gloves brush scalp she offers no protest, when he winds hair through his fingers to shape the outward reflection of her self she only sighs and says

"Hurry up."

It takes several attempts, but eventually he understands.

***

From her, it's high praise.


	5. Chapter 5

Iggy is Re-L’s companion she does not treat like a companion, the companion he replaced. They stand opposite one another and in the pit of his stomach or his own pulse awakening (they are both awake now— blind to the future, death a promise, _raison d’etre_ the only path in a white darkness that contains as many possibilities as colors it is too much when you are only responsible for what you choose to make yourself) Vincent recognizes their shared deformity. This is what it means to be human by proxy, autoreive by imitation. Through flesh and metal they remain only men she will break.

This is a prophecy.

Iggy damns the metamorphosis (Vincent harbors in himself the will to live a demon that surrenders all at the altar of himself including himself his memory her life) Iggy who is expressionless in design expresses certainty through a voice between what was given and what was found. It is law: Ergo will be her ending. The one who taught her terror, the one who guides her steps. He who she freely follows.

But even at the end of a gun Vincent could not forget her face. And whatever hideous thing wears his skin he will willingly sacrifice his heartbeat in her name.

This, too, is law.

Any word can be prophecy. Any word can be false. They are not gods but reflections and the only truths they carry are their own.

***

Neither speaks, but at last they understand.

Love is to risk everything for your purpose. It is not not exclusive but all consuming. It has a cost.

They shield her with their bodies. This time, Iggy pays.

Vincent hopes he wasn’t afraid anymore.

***

He finds her kneeling in the snow, white flowers on a white grave. Shadow cast against a world too vast for her, Re-L is smaller than she seemed. There is nothing graceful about her tears.

It isn’t something he should see.

Vincent says little, offers the only thing left to offer—his life tied up in a bullet and a promise. If Ergo Proxy taught her terror it isn’t for Vincent to make her forget.

Re-L deserves something she can trust. It's the least he can provide.


End file.
